When I die spread my ashes at Comic Con because that’s probably the only way I’ll ever get there.
driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons
My baby brother’s first girlfriend recently confessed to thinking they were actually a boy. I asked my brother if this bothered him. His response was:
"Well, yeah. If I had have known they were a boy when we were going out, I would have said I had a boyfriend, not a girlfriend."
He was ten.
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
I am in physical pain